answers to whats worn under your kilt

My shoes and socks.

Nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order.

By a man to a woman: How warm are your hands?

By a man to a woman: Play your cards right and you can find out.

By a man to a woman: Me mother once told me a real lady wouldn't ask.

She was right, God bless 'er.

By a man to a woman: Tell me madam, would you go jogging without a bra?

To another man: Same as you, only bigger.

To another man: Your wife's/sister's/mother's lipstick.

To a woman: If I'm lucky, your lipstick.

By a man: Bagpipes, wanna give 'em a blow?

By a man: A wee set of pipes.

By a man: String -- I had to tie it up so it didnt hang below the kilt.

By a man: It's the smallest airport in the world.....2 hangars and a night fighter.

How badly do you want to know?

What are you wearing under your kilt?For one dollar, I'll tell you. For five dollars, I'll show you. For ten dollars, you can find out for yourself.

Is something special going on today?Every day is special when I'm wearing a kilt.

Are you Scottish? No, but why should the Scots have all the fun?

Is that a skirt you're wearing?It's called a kilt. Do you know why? Because that's what happened to the last guy who called it a "skirt."

If a woman makes a sarcastic comment: you are just jealous because I have got better legs than you,

or you are just jealous because I look better in a skirt than you.

man to a woman: You can reach up my kilt

If I can reach down your shirt(thanks to Keith Engle for this one)

if someone asks" are you gay"?

answer "Because you find me attractive does not make me gay"

that will shut them up